Becoming Invisible
by Liz Wyatt
Summary: They'd both felt loss. Sometimes the same one. Everything changed and she stayed strong. He wanted to learn how to become invisible in a world full of watchful eyes. Set in season one throughout Lynn's investigation. Rewriting Veronica & Logan's story
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** Veronica Mars doesn't belong to me, although I wish Logan did… Rob Thomas created them. I'm just using Logan as I please… Some dialogue is straight from episodes so it's obviously not mine.

**Timeline**: during the investigation of Lynn's death

**SPECIAL NOTE**: This is my very FIRST Veronica Mars fanfiction so please please please let me know what you think! I also want to note that after months of frustration and writers block on my other fandoms I finally found Veronica Mars and within 2 months have tried to get caught up on everything. All I can say is I love this show and I hope I do it some justice! Also I kind of wrote this at 1 in the morning because it just sort of came to me!

**Summary:** Somehow loss made them more similar than Logan could have imagined. He remembered her differently, but he wanted to learn from who she had become.

**Becoming Invisible**

_By Liz Wyatt_

**Chapter One:** _False Hope or A determined Tiny Blonde One

* * *

_

She jumped. He didn't believe it. He was in denial and Veronica could see it. The chance that his mom was still alive had been Logan's only way of dealing with the media and the lies that surrounded his home. He tried to convince Duncan, but he didn't get the response he wanted. This is how it started. He needed help finding him mom. His first thought was Veronica's dad, but the chance that Keith would inform his dad was a chance he couldn't take. But than again he knew somewhere that Keith wouldn't, but none the less he wanted to be able to be cold with no one asking him questions or trying to be his friend. He knew Veronica hated him. If she wouldn't help him because of her hatred for him he knew money would help the persuasion.

He didn't, however, expect her to so calm and understanding. It pissed him off a little that she tried to be all nice and supportive even though he knew she thought he was crazy when he showed up at her door. Than again her kindness didn't seem fake. She wouldn't be nice to him of her own will had she not wanted to. This confused him even more, but too many things already occupied his thoughts and adding Veronica Mars to it was not on his agenda.

When she set up everything for him he figured she was just doing it for the case. Get the answers and get gone, but when his hope lie in a tabloid story she understood. She played along even though she herself didn't believe in it. Had she been just doing the job straight out she might have avoided this lead. Being smarter than him at the whole detective thing.

Logan: There's a woman who saw my mom get out of her car and get in a van with a mysterious stranger.  
Veronica: There's also a jungle tribe that worships Donald Trump's hair. It's a tabloid.  
Logan: What, so the girl with the pig arm can't really bowl?  
Veronica: I just don't want you to get your hopes up.

The video sent him over the edge. He was in pure shock. He heard Weevil say something and he saw Veronica shift in her chair, but he wasn't able to move. He stared at the screen. Paused in that one moment after her body had hit the water. They left until it was just Veronica left alone with him. He couldn't take her trying to give him sympathy. He hated the world right now and he felt the floor giving way.

Veronica I'm sorry.  
Logan: Yeah, so am I

He walked outside heading towards his car. His first thoughts were to throw up or yell. Than she ran out to tell him about his mom's credit cards and his heart rate leveled off.

* * *

He woke up a few days later and looked at his closet in disgust. Orange sweaters and other bright pieces of clothing had been folded and set out for him to wear. He stood searching his closet dripping wet and in his bath towel. He dug through his things and found a black zip up.

The last time he had worn it was the day after Lilly died.

**Flashback**

_He rolled out of bed and stood in the shower for a few minutes. The water was too hot for someone to really want to shower in, but he stood there while the water burned at his skin. He walked into his closet and found the necklace Lilly had given him and he put it back on his neck. It's rightful place. He sat down on the ground and stared at his hands. They were red from the water._

_The phone rang. He heard his mom yell up the stairs._

_"Logan it's Veronica."_

_He picked it up._

_"Hello?"_

_"Logan…" he heard a sniffle._

_"Hey.."_

_"umm…have you…" there was silence on her end_

_"I haven't talked to Duncan, Veronica."_

_"Oh…are you…"_

_"No, I'm not okay. Are you?" he said a little more frustrated._

_"No…I'm sorry I called I just…" than he heard a few more sniffle and he knew she was going to start crying again._

_"I'll be right over."_

_"thanks…"_

_He hung up and looked at his closet. He pulled out his black zipper slipped it over his shirt._

_When he got to her house she opened the door and he saw how distraught she was._

_"You wanna…"_

_he understood and stepped inside._

**end flashback**

He put it on over his shirt and ran downstairs.

* * *

He waited by the phone for her to call and tell him that she'd 'found his mom' or 'got some great news'

"Logan, you know the phone doesn't lift itself to your ear son." Aaron said as he walked into their kitchen. He was in a band t-shirt and jeans.

"you know dad just cus you where the clothes doesn't mean Jessica Simpson or Paris Hilton are going to pop over for some daddy fun time." He smirked at his father's reaction.

"Logan! Just because I'm trying to..."

"Re-invent Aaron Echolls, Mr. newly single movie star?"

"No! I'm trying to change. It's been a hard couple of weeks and I know you are still hurting, but we need to accept your mother's death and move on with out lives. She'd want us to be happy."

Be happy? She wanted to escape Aaron and Logan knew it.

"Yeah... sure." Logan swung his chair to face the phone again.

"Son..."

"Don't you son me! What gives you the right to try and be dutiful dad now?"

"Logan! We all are trying to make the best of the situation your mother left us in."

"So what its mom's fault?" Logan was getting more heated by the moment.

"No I didn't say that! Logan you need to calm down!"

"Why so I don't upset daddy and than he'll have to whip me?" Logan stood his ground even though he felt scared that he was right.

"Don't you dare accuse me of that now?"

Then Logan's cell rang.

"Logan we aren't finished here!" Logan frantically searched his bag for his cell as it continued to ring.

Aaron grabbed Logan's wrist and pulled it away from the bag.

"What are you doing? Get off of me!" Logan tried to wiggle out of Aaron's grasp.

"Logan…" Aaron said it as if he had always been the all American dad caring for his son.

"The cameras are off dad! Don't pull this shit with me!" He heard his cell stop ringing and he hoped whoever it was left him a message. He finally was out of Aaron's grasp when he ran over and checked his voicemail.

"Hey. Call me when you get this. There's been another charge on your mom's credit card… at the Sunset Regent." Veronica's voice boomed in his ear

He hung up the phone and gathered his bag up.

"Son..." there was his dad with open arms gesturing for Logan to come over and into a hug.

"Later pops" he said as he fumbled for his keys and ran out the door in a hurry.

* * *

Logan sat in his truck for a few minutes until he finally dialed Veronica's cell phone.

She was laughing a little when she picked up and that made Logan a little mad and annoyed. Heck she was supposed to be helping him find his supposedly dead mother!

"Wallace that's mean!" he heard in the background before she talked to him.

"Hello?"

"So you taking a lunch break or is this case time?" An angry Logan asked.

"Logan? Lunch break…what are you talking about?" she was confused.

"You know, Veronica, I thought you were a professional when working on serious things." He sounded dead serious.

"Logan…I'm not taking a break or whatever and just so you know I take my cases very seriously plus you know you aren't the only one person who has asked me for help today." She said in a serious tone.

"Whatever Mars…point is you called me?"

"Yeah... your mom's credit card was used at the Sunset Regent in L.A."

"Great!"

"Yeah, so I figured I'll call and…"

"No..I'm going over there now."

"Logan..No, we need a plan."

"There is no we Mars, you did your part."

"But you have no idea…"

"What how to find my mother? Listen Mars just go back to your other cases." He drove onto the highway.

"Logan please! Just let me help you!" she sounded desperate.

"Woah Mars, no need to beg me."

"Logan…"

"Fine, but I'm already on the highway so you need to hurry and meet me in the lobby."

"Fine."

"Fine."

click

* * *

He had been in there for 15 minutes and he finally sighed, turning towards the receptionist. He started to take a step when she ran up to him all girlie and loud.

"I know I'm late. Sorry, honey." He was a little confused and when she pulled his head down so she could kiss his cheek he was a bit taken back. The girl he hated had just kissed him. Sure on the cheek, but for two people who would never have even touched each other months earlier he was surprise. That's when she dropped her voice.

"So I talked to this guy on the phone. Let me handle it, he's a bit prickly," she said as she proceeded to lead him over to the receptionist area. He was a bit dazed, not entirely sure what her plan was.

Hotel Receptionist: May I help you?  
Veronica: You may. My fiancé and I are looking for a honeymoon suite

Now he understood. So now he was her fiancé. He played along. He even made fun of her a little at how much effort she actually put into this one.

"Wow, sugar puss, you've certainly been a busy little bee."

They giggled at each other, then to the receptionist

"Ah, she's a keeper."

Than they came to the conclusion that his mom was the one in the suite. After defeat from the receptionist he plopped himself down on the sofa. She watched him curiously and just stood there watching him. She noticed his jacket. He looked up after a few minutes.

"What?"

"nothing…" She looked around nervously and headed towards the door.

A/N This will get more into my summary soon. I'm just trying to fit the entire episode in and than come to my favorite part! I've written it, but it won't be until the next chapter.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: A Marshmallow Wall**

_That day that day  
What a mess  
What a marvel  
We're all the same  
And no one thinks so  
And it's okay  
And I'm small  
And I'm divine  
And it's beautiful  
And it's coming  
But it's already here  
And it's absolutely perfect_

_- Natalie Imbruglia, That Day

* * *

_

_She noticed his jacket. He looked up after a few minutes._

_"What?"_

_"Nothing…" She looked around nervously and headed towards the door_

* * *

Veronica had been rushing around all day. She was trying to help Meg with her "secret admirer" and she was making an attempt to find a Mr. Tom Cruz. Along with those cases she had her ongoing one concerning Logan's mom.

Veronica thought Logan had seemed so hopeful and now…in a matter of a couple of days his heart had already fought enough. Denial, hope, and anger had only been a few. She knew he wasn't ready to accept the possibility Lynn was in fact, gone. She wondered if this hotel was the real deal or just another dead end. It certainly made sense, but in Veronica Mars fashion, she couldn't accept it until all the facts were out in the open and there were no questions. The fact that Logan had tormented her for the past months didn't help either. Trusting him wasn't something she necessarily was ready to do or give him. She wanted him to trust her and in a sick sort of way she knew he did. He trusted her not to tell anyone. Trusted her to do all she could. That morning, in the hall, she could have sworn she saw the old Logan coming through when he thanked her.

Meg…

She was the good friend. One of the only '09ers that actually thought Veronica wasn't some loon or bitch. This secret admirer case was more of a favor to Meg, but it had Veronica's curiosity. Whether that was good or bad she had yet to find out. So while she worked on separating everything on the "case" she tried to forget her internal questions and struggle about Logan, his case, and the future concerning those two things. Although Meg's status as a '09er didn't exactly block out Logan. It might have made it harder for her.

Veronica had worked hard to not let anyone in since her friends all turned their backs on her. She was most hurt by Logan and Duncan. They'd been there for her since she was a nervous, innocent, and quiet girl. Lilly had changed her in many ways. Her presence had been so strong in Veronica's life that her death changed everything for everyone. She couldn't help but look at Duncan and Logan and long to remember better days. But, she was Veronica Mars. A stone wall, hot tempered, all around information getter. It was funny to think of how many kids at Neptune High, the ones that called her names and spread rumors, had come to her for help over the past few months. She could be scary, but it was something she worked at. That's why she hated seeing Logan and Duncan and to have this longing for a chance of the way things once were. That meant she would be innocent and she knew she never would be innocent again.

* * *

"Veronica?" Wallace walked into her apartment

"Wallace?" she leaned out of her bedroom door. Her hands gripped the frame for support. She tried to hide her body from him.

"Hey, you know your door was unlocked right?" He said staring at her with an uneasy face.

"Uhh…sure umm what are you doing here?" she was rushing.

"Well, you asked me to come over and pick up those files to return to school. Remember?"

"Oh…right..umm they're in my room." She smiled.

"Alright." He started walking towards her door.

"NO!" she yelled forcing him to stop in his tracks.

"No?" He started gesturing with his hands. "Alright, veronica mars what is going on?"

"You really don't want to come over here."

"And…that would be because…"

"Because…I'm sort of in need of a towel." He started laughing. "hey! That's not funny!" she was using her fake hurt voice.

"Veronica, do you want _ME_ to get you a towel?"

"Yes…" she laughed nervously.

He walked to the linen closet and opened it. He pulled out a blue towel and headed back towards her door. Her head was still popped out.

"Just…throw it?" she asked.

"sure..sure.." he threw it, but it missed her and fell to the hall floor.

"Wallace can you turn around?"

"Okay." He laughed as he spun to look the other way. He heard wet feet stick to the floor and hurry back.

* * *

When Veronica was dressed she came out with the files in hand. Wallace had a huge grin on his face as he stood up from the couch.

"So, we'll just wipe that from both our memories okay?" she crossed her arms over her chest.

"yeah it's a deal, but I got a question."

"Alright."

"If you are so tough and miss independent than why the whole freaking out back there?"

She took a moment to think before speaking, "well you see Wallace Fennel, I Veronica Mars, am a marshmallow."

"Naw…see that's just using my words against me."

"Yeah, but it was fun." She handed him the stack of files. He flipped to see if they were all there.

"hey Veronica."

"yeah?"

"Where is Logan Echolls?"

"Not sure, he hasn't called me recently." She said while rummaging through her purse

"Okay…but I meant his file."

"Oh! Well..I needed it for a bit longer." Wallace eyed her suspiciously. "I'm trying to work on Lilly's case too you know. Plus having a better insight to Logan will help me with his mom's case."

"How?"

She spoke with an unsure voice, "it just does."

"Whatever… you sure you aren't just taking an interest in him?"

"No. I'm sure."

"I didn't mean as a love interest necessarily."

"I know…" she laughed a little and walked back to her room.

"Are you going out tonight?" Wallace yelled while walking to the front door.

"Yeah, party with meg." She yelled back.

"Have fun and remember. Be a good girl miss mars and say your pleases and thank yous."

"Wallace!"

"yeah?"

"You've been spending too much time at home with your mom." She heard him laugh. Directly after, the door could be heard making a click sound.

* * *

She pulled on her shoes and looked in the mirror. Black. Seemed like her whole wardrobe was some dark show. There were some earthy tones on the left. She looked through her hangers and pulled out the white dress she had worn the night of Shelly's party. She quickly hung it back up and pulled out a jewelry box. It had been Lilly's Christmas gift to Veronica last year. She opened it up and immediately heard a recording of the spice girls, "wannabe". Veronica smiled sadly and remembered the better times with Lilly that included those embarrassing song fests. She picked up a necklace. It was half of a heart that said friends. The best half was Lilly's. It was lost somewhere in her untouched room, now, like so many other things Lilly and she had shared.

She put it down and picked up a black necklace. She remembered the day Lilly had given it to her.

* * *

**Flashback**

_Veronica was sitting with her back against Lilly's headboard. Lilly was on her stomach reading some magazine._

_"Lilly…we should really be studying."_

_"Veronica Mars, do I ever need to study. I mean life is for living right. So come one and live a little!" she said as she swung around to look at Veronica._

_"But.."_

_"No buts about it. Oh, I just got the best idea!" Lilly stood up next to her bed and started waving her hands around to emphasize her point._

_"What?" Veronica was a little wary._

_"We should go out tonight and go guy shopping!"_

_"Guy shopping?"_

_" yeah I mean… well Duncan and you broke up, so I figure this is a good a time as any. Plus with me being single I think this calls for a celebration. We are two hot single females in Neptune California!"_

_"If I say yes will you stop jumping?" Veronica said with a grin._

_"Yes! Yes! Yes!" she just started jumping more._

_When they stood in Lilly's closet rummaging for outfits Veronica felt nervous. She picked out a light pink shirt and a pair of kakis._

_"Are we going to a bake sale miss mars?"_

_"What do you mean?" she looked at Lilly confused. Lilly ripped the clothes out of her hands and shoved a back mini skirt and a dark red almost bikini sized top at her. She then pushed Veronica into the bathroom._

_"Put those on!" Veronica did as Lilly said and came out very self conscious._

_"Drop dead gorgeous! Now for the finishing touch." Lilly placed a necklace on veronica._

**end flashback

* * *

**

They never got into the club that night because Duncan had caught them and Veronica felt a sudden need to leave. She returned the clothes the next day, but the necklace was forgotten until now.

She held it up to look at it and clasped it around her neck. If Veronica was going to face the 09ers at a party tonight, she needed some help from Lilly.

* * *

A/N this is going in a little bit of a different direction right now, but I swear I'll bring it back around. Right now my concern is setting Logan and Veronica up separately and then I'll follow more closely to the summary, but there are things in these two chapters that will tie in as a major part so pay attention! ALSO WALLACE is always fun to add. I love Veronica and Wallace time! Sorry for misspellings and such, but I did try and check before I put it up, but I was also excited so I might have rushed.

**And please Review**! Let me know what you think! Should I rewrite a different chapt? should i keep going? How am I doing with the VM universe?


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: Mourning Song**

_"Mothers on the stoop, boys in souped-up coupes on this hot summer night  
Between fight and flight is the blind man's sight and the choice that's right  
I roll the window down, feel like I'm going to drown in this strange town  
Feel broken down, I feel broken down"_

_-Jewel Standing Still

* * *

_

_The necklace was forgotten until now._

_She held it up to look at it and clasped it around her neck. If Veronica was going to face the 09ers tonight she needed some help from Lilly._

* * *

She stood in the doorway taking it all in. Meg was behind her and than she was dragging Veronica. She looked around and took a deep breath. A few kids were staring at her and if this moment had been last year, Veronica might have run right back out the front door. Over the past couple of weeks though, some people had even gone softer of her. There weren't as many jokes or sneers in her direct hearing range. She knew some of that had to do with Meg. Meg had befriended Veronica even when the other '09ers wouldn't. Duncan was still conversational with her as well and that helped. Than again the source of Veronica's most torment had been from a certain Echolls' child who happened to now need her services. Plus after losing your mom, wouldn't you back off too… at least for now.

At this moment in time however, Veronica had to clear her head and switch on her detective skills. Meg had a secret admirer that needed to be unveiled.

* * *

Logan stared at the elevator door. So far, no luck. His mother hadn't left her room in the past 6 hours. Maybe it was 7 now… Logan couldn't tell time anymore. The sounds of the lobby whirled around him. The cheesy "dinner" music and the ringing of the phones were all a background soundtrack to his thoughts.

At first his head swirled with thoughts. He was anxious and nauseas. In between then and now he even saw his mother get out of the elevator and look at him. Sometimes she smiled, but it was all in his head. By now he was just staring. No thoughts. Nothing.

That's when his cell started ringing. It took him a few minutes to realize it was his phone. A few women at the counter were staring.

"Hello?" he sounded like he had just woken up.

"Logan, man where are you? I thought you were coming to the party tonight."

"Party?"

"yeah…remember I said 'you want to go out and help me with Meg' and you said 'sure, but I got to go because I'm expecting a call' Now I know I am slow sometimes, so if that was a blowing off than tell me now."

Logan found it hard to register everything Duncan was saying. He remembered the conversation and he even remembered planning out the day for the party, but than Veronica had called.

Veronica… was she there? Was she the one who asked Duncan where he was? Or was she huddled up at home working on some case. Veronica… she had left him there. He had been waiting.

"Hey DK I'm sorry I forgot about the party."

"Alright, well you can still get over here. It hasn't died down yet."

"No man, I can't"

"Come on Logan you live like 5 minutes from here."

"I'm in L.A."

"L.A? What are you doing out there?" Duncan was pacing now, trying to get away from the party goers.

"Waiting in a hotel lobby for the past hours."

"A hotel? Why are you there?"

Logan thought about telling Duncan about his mom and the investigation, but he remembered how Duncan had reacted at her funeral. He said the first thing that had come to his mind.

"Veronica called. Hey listen, DK I should really go now. Later." click

Duncan stood there confused. Then he saw Veronica.

* * *

She walked through the doors into the lobby. When Duncan had asked her about Logan she couldn't believe he was still there. Maybe he had found his mom she thought, but wouldn't he call her? Maybe not…it wasn't like Veronica could be number one on his thought list after seeing his mom. Or maybe he was still staked out.

The first thing she saw were his shoes. They were sticking out from the couch. She got a dirty look from the guy at the counter as she walked by. Veronica knew he probably figured out they weren't newlyweds. She then proceeded to go towards the center of the lobby. Logan was holding a pillow and she knew he hadn't seen his mom yet.

"You know you can't sit here forever." She saw his face drop a little.

"What do you say we smoke her out." She took out her cell phone.

Logan didn't know what to say. His thinking was back on track, but he was still at a loss. He looked Veronica up and down while she reported his mom's card missing. She was in all black. She looked like she had just been on a date. He wondered if she had, but than he remembered the party. Duncan must have found her.

She closed her cell phone and looked at him. Veronica looked like she was debating whether to say something or not.

"So what do we do now?" he asked looking down at her hands, still holding the cell phone.

"We wait. I mean I know you've been waiting, but we just have to let it play out." He looked at her face. She was glancing around everywhere, but him.

Logan shifted his weight and sat up. He was now facing her at an equal level. She put her cell phone in her purse.

"Veronica…" he began. She stopped looking around and stared at him expectantly.

"umm…thanks," was all he could think of. She laughed a little. Almost relieved, but she didn't know why.

She gave him a small smile of understanding, much like the one from a few mornings before. He moved over on the couch and she understood. Veronica got up off the coffee table and sat next to him.

They sat in silence for a while except when they glanced at the front desk or the elevator.

Logan stared at her neck for a few minutes.

"what?" Veronica asked. He reached out and lifted the necklace away from her body, so that his hand hovered. Her breathing stopped and she didn't know why.

"Lilly." He said while staring at it. She let out her breath and returned to normal.

"Yeah… she let me borrow it a long time ago. I never got the chance to give it back."

"I gave it to her for her birthday." She looked like a deer caught in headlights. "My mom picked it out one day and told me I should give it to Lilly." More silence.

"It looks good on you though. Lilly never wore it. I'm glad she gave it to you." He said while shifting his eyes to her own. She didn't know what to say

"thanks… I noticed your sweater."

"yeah…I guess it was a Lilly day all around huh?" he said with an uneasy smile.

"I guess so."

"You really recognized it?" he asked in a curious tone.

"Well you did lend it to me that day…" His face dropped as she watched for his eye to connect with hers.

* * *

**FLASHBACK**

_Logan knocked on her door. He didn't know what he was doing there, but she had called and he said he'd be over._

_When she opened the door the first thing he noticed was that she was in a tank top and sweatpants. She looked so small and fragile. This wasn't the lively girl he knew._

_"Hi Logan." She said smiling a little, but he could see she was fighting back tears._

_"Hey."_

_"why don't you come in." she gestured while moving out of the doorway. He walked in and looked around. She closed the door and walked to the counter in the kitchen. "You want something…to eat or drink?"_

_"no thanks." He said. "How you doing?"_

_"I'm…alright. You know me."_

_"Yeah. I know that you can't lie very well." He said taking her current state in. She laughed sadly._

_"I guess I never fooled anyone."_

_"But that's what we all love about you. Veronica…I know I'm not always your first choice, but I'm here for you." This was a side of Logan that Veronica had never seen. She wondered if this was what Lilly saw, but than why would she have ever wanted to cheat on him?_

_"thank you Logan."_

_"So tell me the truth. Are you really alright?"_

_"Are you?" she stared directly at him._

_"No, but than again you already knew that."_

_"Why can't we just be okay you know? God I wish Lilly were here right now."_

_"She'd get a kick out of you and me with all this awkward silence."_

_Veronica laughed a little and started to cry at the same time. "yeah…" she tried to wipe her eyes. She was leaning on the counter._

_Logan didn't know how to react. So he did the only thing he could think of. He walked over to her and he hugged her. He slipped his hands around her and he felt hers snake around his body. He let her cry into his shoulder. Each cry making her body shudder beneath his._

_"Veronica…" but he was at a loss for words. Veronica had lost her best friend. Lilly and he had fought, but he loved her. Veronica loved her too, but hers wasn't some twisted relationship. It was a genuine friendship._

_"Logan…I…" He pulled away to look at her. He smiled as she tried to wipe away her stained cheeks._

_He woke up and opened his eyes the next day to unfamiliar surroundings. Than he realized Veronica was still lying on the bed next to him. He was holding her hand to him. He had fallen asleep while comforting her. He tried to slip from next to her when she awoke._

_"Logan…thank you." She said in a dreamy haze._

_"You're welcome. Remember Ronnie, I'm always here for you." He kissed her hand before letting it go. Looking back now, he couldn't tell you why, but he felt it was right. Maybe he had used Veronica to remember a piece of Lilly, but she would never be Lilly and that made it easier in the long run. No reminder._

_He had left her wrapped up in his sweater. A week later everything changed and she would throw his sweater at him in the parking lot at school. He would be a little hurt, but he still had that wall up for all his "friends."_

**END FLASHBACK

* * *

**

Logan began shaking his right leg. Then he was pushing his hands through his hair. Veronica just watched him for a little while. When he started slightly rocking she reached out and placed her hand on his shaking knee. Immediately his hands were out of his hair and he was looking at her.

"It's going to be okay." She said in a reassuring tone.

"yeah…I know…" he said with a nervous smile. His voice didn't sound as convinced. He noticed her hand still on his knee. He was looking at it. When she realized what he was looking at she retracted it and decided to lean on the arm rest away from him.

They waited for another 25 minutes before he felt Veronica tap him. He saw a woman walk out of the elevator. It had to be his mother. It was her clothes and everything.

A wave of excitement ran over him. He got up, as did Veronica.

"Mom?" he said.

The woman turned around, only to be revealed as Trina. Logan's heart sank and he felt like he was going to be sick. Veronica let out the breath she was holding. She looked frantically at Logan, but his back was to her.

"Oh, hey Logan. Did you just call me mom? You okay brother? You know moms…gone right?" Veronica's mind spun. She had almost believed it. She thought Logan's mom could have been alive. Everything they had investigated had pointed to this moment, but she didn't want it to be true. Especially out in L.A., Miles away from Neptune.

"Your supposed to be in Australia." He said.

"yeah, well that didn't work out." He laughed a little. "Veronica, hey!" Trina said while noticing her.

"hello Trina," was all that she could muster out. She was still looking for Logan to give her a hint to what he was thinking.

"So is the whole brat pack here? What is this…like prom night? You guys get a room here for some like after party?" Logan was looking around trying to process everything.

"oh hey, I've been kinda out of the loop lately, are you two." She was smiling now.

That had been enough when Trina started off about him and Veronica.

Veronica was still trying to read Logan. She didn't know why she cared so much, but she remembered that they once were actually good friends. The two outsiders to the Kanes, who had been invited in at around the same time.

"Stop! You shut up! You're wearing mom's clothes, you're wearing her hat." He said trying to make sense of how he could have thought she was his mother.

"She was your mom. The lady who liked to parade through the house in a string bikini whenever I had a boy over." Trina said more towards Veronica.

"well to be fair when didn't you have a boy over?" he was laughing a little bit again.

"oh you" she said while trying to playfully hit him, but he hit her away.

"Dad could have used you there!" Veronica felt like an outsider on a conversation she shouldn't be a part of. This was Logan's big shock right now. She wondered if he realized what Trina being here meant.

"so now you're worried about dad's welfare? Isn't he the big bad wolf? Cigarette burns and broken noses? Oh the stories you used to tell" Logan felt his stomach hit the floor now. It was bad enough that no one ever believed him about his dad or that he had to hide it, but that last person he wanted to ever find out was Veronica Mars.

She couldn't believe her ears. Logan's dad… it just didn't seem real, but it did make sense. Reasoning for all those nights Lilly had asked Veronica to pick Logan up at some random place or when she'd be sleeping over and Logan would come over and than girls night became couples nights. She was still horrified. How could Logan live in a family like that. Did his mom know? Is that why she had jumped?

"wow… we should get together and do this more often." He said sarcastically.

"yeah well, you're in luck. I'm heading home now. I guess some accountant finally cancelled mom's cards."

"but if you're coming home, who will play dead hooker two on CSI this week? How will you get your attention fix" he asked trying to get her mad.

"Maybe I can be the ring girl at one of your bum fights." She said staring him down.

Veronica knew she needed to stop this before it got worse. She put herself between Logan and Trina. She grabbed his arm.

"You know what. Should we get going? Logan…" she looked at him trying to tell him to stop and walk away.

"Veronica…look at you…all grown up. Hey, we should hang out when I'm in town." She knew she would never be this close to Trina again if she could avoid it.

"okay…yeah…" than she looked back at Logan. "Logan, come on. Let's go." She said pulling him away.

She heard Trina say something else, but right now all that was racing through her mind was to get Logan out of there.

* * *

He stopped for a second and looked back. Veronica pulled him back around. She was looking for the nearest exit.

She was gone. His mom was gone. There was the proof. Everything was out in the open. The video, the obsessed fan, the credit cards. The chance his mom was alive was gone. She really died. She jumped off that bridge and killed herself. The past week he had kept himself going with the belief that she would be there in the end, but now…she was dead. He couldn't control himself. He didn't care who saw him. He felt like he couldn't breathe.

Veronica noticed he had stopped and she saw the pain wash across his face. She didn't know what to do. He was bent over gasping almost and crying his eyes out. She rubbed his back. Hoping to give him some comfort that she knew no one could give him. He had just realized the grave truth and she needed to be a friend to him.

He felt her hand start rubbing his back and he knew that in this moment he needed her. He didn't know how to act. His head was spinning out of control and he was afraid he would hit the ground. His feet started to give out and as her hand snaked around his neck he grabbed on to her. He needed to make sure he was real right now. She held him to her tightly.

"she's gone…she's gone." He repeated through tears.

Veronica's heart was breaking for him. She'd seen him cry before, but only from a far and when he didn't know she was watching. He'd cried over Lilly, but this was different. This was his breakdown and she wanted to be able to make it all better for him. She cared about him. She now knew that would never go away. Even when he was cold to her, he was still Logan. This Logan.

He held on to her for dear life. He never wanted her to let go, for all of it to be real.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4: Induced Happiness**

"she's gone…she's gone." He repeated through tears…

…He held on to her for dear life. He never wanted her to let go, for all of it to be real.

* * *

Veronica had wanted to help Logan more, but after he had calmed a bit he couldn't even look at her. He had mumbled something like a 'thank you', but before she could speak he had turned on his heel and had driven away in his car. Veronica was left outside the hotel, staring at his tail lights peel off onto the main road.

She had already had too much on her plate with all the cases and while she knew that Logan could take care of himself…she still felt for him. It's not like his dad would be that much comfort. Especially, with the new information Trina had revealed to her unintentionally. Whether Logan's family believed it to not be true…she knew Mr. Echolls had beaten Logan. Veronica could recall countless times that suddenly had explanations, but she had to wonder if this "punishment" still continued.

In all honesty, she didn't want to know. Weeks before Logan was her enemy. Now she was falling back into the same mindset she had when Lily was still alive. Although things seemed simpler when Lily was alive, Veronica didn't really understand the in's and out's of the world around her. Sure, she'd become a bit tough around the edges, but maybe that was why people like Logan looked to her for help, because they didn't expect a shoulder to cry on or that hand to guide them. Veronica couldn't offer them those things, unless they wanted it and she felt they deserved it.

Now she was losing her mind in thoughts about Logan Echolls and she knew that those thoughts never accomplished anything. So she drove home, changed into more comfortable clothes, and draped a blanket over her dad because he was sound asleep on the couch.

"goodnight sweetie" he mumbled as she walked towards her room.

She plopped down on her bed and fell into a fast sleep.

* * *

_"veronica!" Lily was walking a little ahead of Veronica on the Neptune road._

_"Lily? Where are we going?"_

_"where do you think mars? It is the first days of good weather and I am going to enjoy life by getting some sun." She removed her tank top, to reveal a bikini top and then spun around for emphasis._

_"Lily…Logan will love you if you're pale or not."_

_"yeah…I know, but I can always try to tan right?" Lily ran back to grab Veronica's arm and she linked their elbows._

_A few men walked past, staring at Lily's chest. Veronica laughed at her friend._

_"maybe you should keep your shirt on until we reach the beach?" Veronica asked._

_"maybe…you should take yours off and give those Neptune boys a look at Veronica Mars!" Lily eyed her smiling._

_"you know what…I'd prefer only ONE boy to look at me."_

_"aww not Duncan again…why DO you like my brother Veronica? He's such a dork…I mean I secretly had thought he was gay cus he's always talking about 80's movies and flowers…I mean seriously, what guy knows the name of any flower other than a rose?"_

_"I think it's cute!"_

_"I'm sure you do!" Lily laughed. A few more men whistled and this time it came in the direction of a few PCH bikers on the edge of the beach. Lily paid no mind, but Veronica looked at Weevil. He wasn't whistling or hooting like the others. As Veronica caught his eye, he just followed them with a look. Veronica tried to avoid looking at him, but she couldn't help but notice it._

* * *

Veronica woke up with a rough start, nearly falling off the couch. Her memories had found their way into her dreams lately. She could blame a certain Echolls boy, but she knew that it wasn't just Logan who was making her think about the past. It seemed like everyone was changing around Veronica and she wasn't sure if it was for the better. Sure, she should be skeptical considering the last time things "changed" she wound up being the school's outsider. There is nothing wrong with that position, but Veronica would have never expected that she'd be here. Where exactly was here anyways?

In the past few months Veronica had managed to become friends with Duncan only to learn her mother may have left because Duncan and Veronica could be siblings. She had befriended Meg who was an '09er on the outside, but a good person on the inside. Even though Meg was nice, Veronica kept waiting for the curtain to open and to find out that Meg was only friends with her to help on cases or to be part of some big joke. The newfound "bond" between Logan Echolls and Veronica Mars wasn't bound to last she thought. After he didn't need her help he'd most likely go back to torturing her again. Maybe that was how it was meant to be.

While her father had trapped some bad guys Veronica had managed to drift off on the couch. Now it was nearly 7 and Veronica heard a knock at her door. As she swung her legs to push off the couch her mind wandered to the possibilities of who could be at the door. Was it the sheriff telling her that her dad was killed on a case? Could it be Duncan coming to tell her that he wanted to be the perfect 'big brother' now that Lily was gone he was feeling lonely? Was it Wallace coming to join her for an evening of bad 90's comedies? Or maybe Logan…for…for what?

Before she could finish her thoughts she had already opened the door to reveal a blonde head of hair twisting down to reveal a bright pink dress. So, no Logan or Wallace or anyone she had suspected. If this person was in fact Sheriff Lamb he had done an awesome job at capturing his feminine side.

"Hey!" a bubbly voice caused Veronica to continue the waking up process.

"hey Meg." Veronica said in a sort of daze. Once she realized that Meg was holding what appeared to be a heavy bag of clothes she remembered why Meg was standing at her door on a Friday night decked out in Molly Ringwald gear.

"Meg, I am so sorry. " Veronica started.

"what for?" Meg asked innocently.

"I told you I was gonna find your secret admirer before the dance and I haven't come through, I… it's just been a million other things I've been working on…"

Meg laughed a little. "Forget it, forget it. I don't even care anymore." While Veronica stepped aside Meg came in and put the corsage in her hand down on the kitchen surface and dropped her bag to look directly at Veronica.

"Oh, here." She hand the corsage to veronica. "You can have it. It's the flowers he sent me. Supposed to be our signal tonight or something."

Veronica stared at Meg, whose reactions were hard to read. If I'm truly a girl shouldn't I be able to decipher Meg's body language. Scratch that she thought. If I'm truly the daughter of Keith Mars shouldn't this be normal.

"Thought you were excited about it," Veronica inquired.

Meg shifted her body weight. "Truth is, I'm not sure I wanna go out with Caz. And Martin's nice but not… I just don't want to hurt his feelings."

Veronica could agree with that statement. "Hmm. How come you're all dolled up?"

Meg stood taller. "Now who says I need a date to go to the dance?"

Veronica smiled at that. "Oh. Right. You… go girl." There was a pause and then Veronica's eyes met Megs.

"I'm taking you," Meg said while pointing and grinning.

* * *

40 minutes later Veronica Mars was tasting bad hairspray and wishing that she hadn't agreed to accompany meg to the dance. Standing in an outfit that Lily would have surely approved of, Veronica smiled at Meg trying to fake her excitement.

As they started to leave she saw the fax machine was printing something.

Flipping the page around her breath caught as she finally knew the true identity of Meg's secret admirer. None other than Duncan Kane.

Veronica looked at Meg and contemplated telling her new '09er friend that her new lover boy was Veronica's ex.

* * *

As they entered the dance they heard "One Thing Leads To Another" by the Fixx blaring out of the school's speakers. Standing amongst the decked out students, Veronica saw Meg's face falter when she saw Caz dancing with a girl and Martin talking it up with some people at the punch bowl.

Veronica saw how much Meg was in distress so she attempted to make a few jokes.

"aren't you totally stoked to go to this thing!?"

"oh for sure." Meg said with a fake grin.

"What is wrong my blonde haired friend? Let me be your Duckie for now and tell me what's up." Veronica gave Meg a knowing look.

"I just didn't know the dance would be such a major couple o-rama. All the girl power stuff aside… reality has set in. Forgive me gal pal, but what can I say… I'm weak" Meg was thoroughly looking depressed now. Veronica hid her own sad smile as she saw Duncan approaching the dance hall. Veronica reached into her purse and pulled out the flowers.

After explaining to Meg that she would eventually thank Veronica, she left seeing Meg's prince charming begin to dance with her. Running for the parking lot she began to sob in her car.

* * *

Realizing that her life had been reduced to confusion. Confusing thoughts about an ex-boyfriend who could very well be her brother and then having similar confusion about a bad boy turned broken, Veronica let it all out until a tap on her window made her realize that she was in fact still at school.

Leo had been kind to her and she needed him right at that moment. Taking her back into the dance she smiled as he began to dance with her. Ignoring the crowd all she could think about was dancing with Leo.

That is until Logan decided to pull his usual.

"Come on everyone! Let's wang chung tonight!"

It was obvious that Logan was drunk and no one wanted to play along with the pantless boy.

"Wang Chung or I'll kick your ass!" after another guy tried to stop Logan he ended up stumbling toward the punch table.

Leo took notice to Veronica's eyes watching Logan.

"every class has one."

She sighed, "I can not escape Tom Cruise."

Watching Logan try and talk to girls at the punch table was a disaster and Veronica excused herself from Leo though he did not understand at first. He watched Veronica go over to the punch table and drag Logan out of the dance hall and into the school corridor.

Still pulling his sleeve she stopped to look back at him.

"Logan, what do you think you are doing? Getting drunk and coming to the dance is not going to solve anything."

"Yeah well Ronnie, gotta do something with my nights right." And he giggled after that.

Veronica had him trapped in a doorway now when Leo came over.

"Logan just give me your keys." He was twisting out of her searching hands.

"Leo can you follow us in your car?" Logan stopped and then pointed at Leo.

"No, no no! (giggling) no cus tonight…we're going to party like it's 1999!"

"Logan…" Veronica tried again but was cut off when Logan pointed at Leo again.

His voice suddenly serious, "Hey, who's this dude?"

"This is the friendly officer of the law who is going to overlook your underage public drunkenness." Veronica was struggling to keep her cool.

Logan looked at Veronica and then back at Leo, "Crockett or Tubbs?"

Veronica sighed and Leo was getting frustrated. Luckily they heard a voice come out of nowhere.

"Logan when did you stop wearing pants?" Trina was standing in the hall with an annoyed look on her face.

Suddenly Logan's face fell and he looked at Trina directly, "What are you doing here?"

"My first night back and some nice officer calls up the house to tell me Logan is wasted and I need to come get him. It's like I never left."

Trina then spots Veronica eying her brother and giving an apologetic look to Leo.

"You must be the nice officer. You sounded sexy on the phone, but up close in personal I see it's all true."

Leo looked uncomfortable and Veronica was too shocked to say anything.

Logan walked towards Veronica and smiled. Then he pointed in Leo's face.

"Watch out for that one."

Veronica wasn't sure if Logan meant that Leo should look out for Trina or herself.

Trina started pulling Logan away, but he glanced back at Veronica. She met his black sunglasses with a worried look.

"A promising man." Leo laughed a little. After a few seconds he leaned in a bit. Veronica knew she should have expected this, but she was stilled a bit shocked.

"Are you going to kiss me?"

he smiled, "I was thinking about it."

They both leant in to kiss. He held her waist and smiled into the kiss. She knew that she liked Leo and that this kiss was great, but somehow she still felt a little saddened and she didn't know why.

* * *

**A/N: Sooo finally a long awaited update. I figured if I was going to start 4 different stories I should at least complete a few. After reading my old fics I realized that I'm not that great of a writer, so maybe I can be a little bit proud of this one. I've learned a bit more; however I did end up rewriting literal VM scenes. In the next chapter it will go off AU a bit.**


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